Garbage Day

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E-Girl Bath Water $3,000 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
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E-Girl Bath Water $3,000 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

Read to the end for an interesting discussion about Jiminy Cricket

Ryan Broderick
Jul 12, 2019
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This week’s issue is going to be GIANT-SIZED because I was on vacation last week. Also, if any of you nerds read newsletters over the Fourth Of July weekend, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Alright, Let’s Talk About The Bath Water Stuff

belle.delphine
i am now selling my BATH WATER for all you THIRSTY gamer boys 💦 check out my new shop where im selling stuff for you!! www.belledelphinestore.com
July 1, 2019

This Bell Delphine. We’ve talked about her before in Garbage Day (see issue #9). She seems to have really figured out a niche trolling gamers in the last few months. The jury is still out on whether or not she is Good. She has been accused of stealing nudes from sex workers and selling them as her own. She has kicked off another controversy by selling her bath water. I think the rapture did happen in 2012 and actually we’re all in hell now and don’t know it.

belle.delphine
What was i going to do to top my pornhub stunt? well if you guessed selling my bath water youd be right!! 💦💦
get your very own here...
www.belledelphinestore.com
July 1, 2019

Anyways, I don’t really want to focus on Delphine here, because honestly, her whole deal is too complicated for me to investigate in a newsletter I make for fun. What I’d like to focus on is this dude who claims he did, in fact, buy the bath water.

Twitter avatar for @VitoGesualdi🍕 VITO 🍕 @VitoGesualdi
People are so mad because I spent $30 on my princess's holy elixir. Get a job kids, then you can afford nice things like me.
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July 4th 2019

902 Retweets3,068 Likes

He also claims he both drank it and vaped it.

Twitter avatar for @VitoGesualdi🍕 VITO 🍕 @VitoGesualdi
I have tasted m'lady's sacred potion, and it was magnificent. Link to video in reply.
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July 8th 2019

56 Retweets224 Likes

For what it’s worth, a 4chan user who claims to be molecular biologist said they also bought it and tested it for DNA and is calling the whole thing a scam.

Twitter avatar for @NonCaringBastrdBastard The Uncaring @NonCaringBastrd
So apparently there are no traces of human DNA in Belle Delphine's bathwater, and she is liable for a class actions lawsuit. Fucking hell lmao
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July 9th 2019

9,169 Retweets32,268 Likes

This whole thing is so insanely dumb.

Twitter avatar for @NonCaringBastrdBastard The Uncaring @NonCaringBastrd
Can you people stop discussing biology underneath my tweet please it's a fucking nabbed 4chan post who even gives one?

July 10th 2019

110 Retweets4,010 Likes

Everyone involved needs to go to therapy. The only silver lining about this entire thing is that it resulted in maybe the greatest newspaper article ever written.

According to UK news site, Metro, “In hentai pornography, women are often shown with their eyes rolling back, tongue hanging out, and blushing or panting. The idea appears to be to show an intense level of arousal, where someone loses their faculties completely.” Amazing.

Second Up, We Have A Great Chart

Twitter avatar for @CarolineWazerCaroline Wazer @CarolineWazer
Cannot stop thinking about this diagram applying the hero's journey paradigm to the process of getting a nose job
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July 2nd 2019

5 Likes

Not much more to say about this to be honest.

Next, Some Great Comics

Twitter avatar for @DaveRapozaDave Rapoza @DaveRapoza
Steve Lichman (more in replies)
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July 3rd 2019

2,105 Retweets5,654 Likes

Next Next, A Huge Milestone For A Great YouTube Channel

Twitter avatar for @SkatunenetworkSkatune Network Ⓥ **Commissions Are Open!!** @Skatunenetwork
I’ve spent 20 minutes refreshing my YouTube channel so I could catch it at this subscriber count. This is the most important moment in my channels history
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June 28th 2019

333 Retweets2,052 Likes

Nice.

If you don’t follow Ska Tune Network on YouTube, you’re missing out. It should come as no surprise that this is extremely my shit. I’m very proud of him for achieving the perfect number of subscribers.

Oh, Here’s A Cool Political Cartoon

Relatable! Also, this comes from a Tumblr called feetpicdealer, so this might be semi-serious. Not sure. Honestly, don’t feel like investigating.

Next Next Next, A Pokémon Thing

Twitter avatar for @tky888tkyたかや @tky888tky
ポケモンの「ニョロモ」のコスプレ
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July 2nd 2019

667 Retweets2,438 Likes

Nope!

Oh, Here’s Another Pokemon Thing

Twitter avatar for @NintendoAmericaNintendo of America @NintendoAmerica
Alcremie, a Fairy-type Cream Pokémon, produces whipped cream often used by pastry chefs to make delicious desserts! The happier Alcremie is, the richer the whipped cream! When attacked, Alcremie throws a sweet-scented cream to blind or distract the opponent. #PokemonSwordShield
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July 8th 2019

6,961 Retweets26,043 Likes

Nintendo, this week, announced a new Pokémon called Alcremie. The internet pretty much immediately decided it looks like a bunch of cum and now everyone wants to fuck it. Here are some choice comments:

  • “Oh no.”

  • “OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD THEY MADE A FUCKING CUMWAD!!!!”

  • “Let me know when this gets lewded just so I can prove a point”

  • “I am terrified of what people are gonna do to this one”

Oh, and this whole interaction:

Maybe global warming is good? And should kill all of us sooner? A thought.

Oh, Here’s A Cool Pic I’ve Been Texting People All Week

We sure live in a society.

OK, You Guys See The Mouse Family Post?

Twitter avatar for @JakeMHSHorrendous Jake Kablooie @JakeMHS
This is an r/relationships post from the SA peanut gallery thread because the original was deleted. You will not regret reading this one although you might scream. 🐀🐀�
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July 10th 2019

1,987 Retweets6,202 Likes

Lot’s to mull over here. I think she’s overreacting.

Now, A Post That Will Make You Go Hmmm

Hmmm.

Cool, Here’s Actually A Great Tinder Bio

Twitter avatar for @deathinaponchogeorge @deathinaponcho
this this is the fucking worst thing i’ve ever read
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July 9th 2019

1,200 Retweets11,205 Likes

Almost Done, Here’s An Epic Brand #Win

Twitter avatar for @drewisgoodenDrew Gooden @drewisgooden
Excuse me @Delta but this is outrageous. I just got sucked through the toilet hole in one of your aircrafts and am now hurtling through the sky, can I get my money back? This never happens on Southwest.

July 10th 2019

14,140 Retweets119,049 Likes
Twitter avatar for @DeltaDelta @Delta
@drewisgooden Hello Drew, I am sorry to learn of this, can you provide more detail to what occurred. HBB

July 10th 2019

2,303 Retweets22,642 Likes
Twitter avatar for @drewisgoodenDrew Gooden @drewisgooden
@Delta got sucked through toilet hole

July 10th 2019

2,484 Retweets33,209 Likes

I hope Delta can help Drew out. Love when companies go the extra mile for their customers.

I Swear, We’re Almost Done

My friend Katie put this in a Slack room we’re in together. Blame her.

Before We Go, Can There Be a DILF Elf?

A few months ago, an anonymous user sent a Tumblr user named beetledrink a message that read, “dilves” immediately made me thing “dilf elves”"

“i dont think dilf elves can exist i dont think its possible… but im open to being proved wrong,” beetledrink replied.

Then another user named hylianhighlands made an interesting point: Santa.

beetledrink admitted that there was a lot to unpack there.

So what do you guys think? Is Santa a DILF Elf? Please send me your answer in the form of wildly explicit essays. Thank you.

Lastly, Politicians Are Doing Weird Anime Shit Again

Twitter avatar for @jairbolsonaroJair M. Bolsonaro @jairbolsonaro
- Obrigado pela homenagem anime! Nota 10! 👍v
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July 2nd 2019

14,558 Retweets96,361 Likes

We’ve talked a lot about Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro’s weird relationship with anime (see Issue #2). He did it again, this time posting fan art of him posing with Goku. I don’t really know what to do with this.

Meanwhile, Democratic candidate Marianne Williamson seems to be leaning into the Tumblr meme that she’s actually trying to trigger the Human Instrumentality Project from Neon Genesis Evangelion. She seems to have officially become self-aware.

mariannewilliamson
The biggest problem with the world is that we do not show up for one another. We withdraw in judgement rather than extending ourselves into each other’s lives. There is literally nothing we could not achieve were we willing to join with each other at deeper levels. Some people say, “Stick with spirituality, Marianne; stay out of politics.” But that’s like saying to an artist, “Create something beautiful but never show it to the world.” Spirituality without application is dead. It’s in the world of politics that transgression against a spiritual sensibility is the most egregious and most dangerous. Humanity will literally not be able to survive itself, if we do not awaken to our oneness and come to the realization that in love and love alone are we at home. Evangeline created this meme, and I saw it online today. Those are indeed my words, and I think people turning them into memes is utterly fascinating. What a way for the mind to process something. The use of lightheartedness can be a very serious thing). #bigtruth
July 8, 2019

It’s not totally clear how much she understands what’s happening here, but based on previous instances of politicians embracing anime shitposts, this will either stop being funny immediately, spiral out of control to the point where some kind of authority figure has to step in (if any even exist anymore), or, most likely, both.

P.S. here’s that interesting discussion about Jiminy Cricket.


***All typos in this letter are on purpose actually***

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