Every New Generation Is Destined To Post Cringe

Read to the end for a horrifying POV video of the inside of someone’s mouth

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Let’s Talk About Chris Evans’ Camera Roll

On Saturday, actor Chris Evans posted a story to Instagram that appeared to show his camera roll at the end. And in that shot of Evans’ camera it looked as if there was a dick pic in there. The alleged dick is actually very hard to notice, but I’m not going to link to it just in case it’s legit. There’s been a lot written about it already. Mark Ruffalo and Evans’ brother Mark have made some jokes on Twitter about the whole thing. An entire content cycle has risen and fallen around Evans’ supposed dick pic. Which is complicated because a leaked nude is a leaked nude even if you’re the one that accidentally leaks it.

But aside from the possible ickiness of it all, I think everyone’s also missing the real story here. It’s 2020, who doesn’t have a few photos of their genitals in their camera roll. Grow up. The actual scandal here is what’s happening in the top row of the camera roll up there.

The real question is, why does Chris Evans have a meme of himself on his phone? Specifically, this one:

Now, Chrissy Teigen has weighed in on all of this and made a good point. Many apps like WhatsApp auto-download all the images that get shared to you. But is Chris Evans using WhatsApp? It’s still a pretty unpopular app in the US. Also, where did this meme come from? When you put it into reverse image search the only results you get are from the last couple days because of the dick pic. The photo of Evans in the meme, though, is at least 12 years old. So what’s the deal? Is he sending this to people? Are people sending it to him? What’s happening here?

Instead Of Talking About The New Awful J.K. Rowling Bull Shit, Look At This

This Is What It Looks Like When You Put A Block Of Cheese In A Washing Machine, I Guess

I saw this image all over last week but what I didn’t realize was how insanely viral it went on Facebook. It’s been shared 28,000 times! I feel like there was a really special moment — before The Bad Time — when random people would share stuff to Facebook and it would just blow up. So it’s kind of nice to see a melted block of cheese doing big numbers on there instead of, you know, fascism.

A lot of the comments though are pointing out that aside from the melted cheese in the washer, it looks like there might be mildew in there, as well. Clean your washing machine before you melt a block of cheese in it, please!

Thinking About The IRL Memes Kid

One of the most fascinating things about being the second generation to grow up totally online is watching Gen Z make a lot of the same embarrassing mistakes millennials made. For instance, check out this absolutely cursed post from r/Teenagers from earlier this month.

Now, as you can probably imagine, the reactions were pretty brutal. The top comments currently are:

  • “Oh hey I saw this post on r/cringetopia it has over 1K upvotes”

  • “that’s pretty cringe tbh”

  • “This better be a joke”

  • “What the fuck is this”

  • “Dear lord”

Also, from what I can tell, the user who shared this has basically gone dark. I imagine they’re feeling pretty embarrassed. But I wish I could tell this kid that this isn’t anything new! Have we come so far as to forget about the infamous Rage Comic fedora? In many ways, this almost seems like a cute coming of age moment for zoomers. It’s an important lesson to learn: Don’t print out memes. Also, don’t be a weird pretentious idiot about the fact you use Reddit.

I don’t want to get too philosophical about this, but it’s moments like this when you start to get the sense that memes are really just a large-scale way for young people to document how their world looks to them. Zoomer memes are lot more fractured and political — just like the world is right now — but a lot of them are revealing that things actually aren’t so totally different than they were a decade ago. That’s why you get Gen Z memes that are basically just slightly different variations on the same archetypes Millennials were sharing when they were coming of age.

It’s kind of a nice sentiment in a weird way! Every generation has to post cringe for a while before they can really grow up. Although, if Gen Z are anything like millennials, being an adult online just means leaving rage comics behind and instead getting into weird Twitter fights on your lunch break.

Someone Is Selling A Gamer Girl Bathwater-Cooled PC

If you live in the greater-Houston area and have $1500 to spare, I’ve got great news! You can apparently buy a i3-9100f quad core PC that’s cooled using a jar of infamous British e-girl Belle Delphine’s bathwater.

One of the earliest Garbage Day issues was about Belle Delphine’s “gamer girl bathwater” stunt. Last year, Delphine was posting extremely lewd cosplay content to places like Instagram and Twitter. Her account was noticed by PewDiePie fans who then sent her loads of abuse. Platforms started cracking down on her pages and suspending her accounts. She then used the negative attention, however, to troll everyone with by setting up a non-pornographic PornHub account and then doubled down and started selling her bathwater. (Though it probably wasn’t actually her bathwater.)

So when you strip away all the nonsense, it was really just a story about a cosplayer from the UK who got attacked by hundreds of thousands of random men online and then trolled them all and literally got them to buy tap water. I’m not going to go all the way and say Delphine is some kind of folk hero, but still, it’s nice that she was able convert the internet’s infinite capacity to hate women into some profit.

Going even further into the Belle Delphine internet hatred/obsession simulation, apparently that PC up there isn’t even running on Delphine’s actual fake bathwater. The user selling the awful computer, 1YardLass, has a Reddit account where they explained that they basically just make insane custom builds. So if you want to buy a PC that is fake-running on fake bathwater sold by a teenage girl you fake-hate, shoot 1YardLoss a message. They’re apparently willing to “deliver to public locations (such as banks and police stations).” Which, considering the kind of person that would buy this, is probably smart.

Here’s A Really Cursed Map

(via r/Maps)

Fat Bear Week Is Coming

Last year, Bear No. 435, or “Holly,” won Katmai National Park And Preserve’s annual Fat Bear Week. It’s the March Madness of fat bears, where Facebook users vote on who is the best fat bear. The fandom around Grazer, a bear with very round ears, was particularly intense last year.

Voting for Fat Bear Week opens up on September 30th, but the hype for it is already pretty huge. This year Bear No. 747 is so fat already he’s having trouble walking. There’s talk that No. 747 could be the fattest bear in Fat Bear Week ever!

One important tip for following Fat Bear Week: While the bears are all very good and fat and I love them, the real star is the completely earnest and insane Facebook community that has formed around it.

Here’s A Good Tweet

Thank You All For Sending Me The Bill Hader Tulpa

On Friday, I asked Garbage Day readers if they could point me towards the Tumblr user who was trying to summon a Bill Hader tulpa. I had seen a few tweets referencing it and I was EXTREMELY curious.

Tulpas are like really intense imaginary friends that otherkin and really hardcore stans try to conjure sometimes. Tulpas blew up in 2014 when bronies became obsessed with them.

Well, thank you all for sending over the goods. From what I can tell after reading a few call-out posts, the Bill Hader tulpa guy had a very messy early-20s inside of Tumblr fandom circles. I’m not going to dox them or share the callout posts, but I did read an archive of their “daily affirmations to manifest Bill Hader” post and wowza is it wild. I’m also not going to include a screenshot because I think it might be too intense for Garbage Day, but you can read it here if you’re up for it.

Finally, An Incredibly Cute Dave Grohl Thing

Last month, a 10-year-old named Nandi Bushell covered The Foo Fighters’ “Everlong” and challenged Dave Grohl to a drum off. A few weeks later, Dave Grohl accepted the challenge and posted his own cover of “Dead End Friends” by Them Crooked Vultures. Then Nandi last week posted her drum cover of “Dead End Friends” and completely naild it.

Well, this morning, Grohl posted a theme song for Nandi and it’s totally adorable.

But even more adorable is the reaction video to the theme song that Nandi posted to YouTube a few minutes ago:

Good things! Turns out they can still happen! What a Concept!

P.S. here’s a horrifying POV video of the inside of someone’s mouth.

***All typos in this email are on purpose actually***