"Guy Ive been seeing wants me to call him Senpai during sex"

Read to the end for a really good TikTok

First Up, This Insane Homecoming Assembly Dance

This video from Walden Grove High School in Sahuarita, Arizona, is absolutely fucking incredible. The music! The choreography! The costumes! The attention to detail! It also made me realize that even through Endgame was 3 hours long (or two bathroom breaks for me), very little actually happens in it. Anyways, do yourself a favor and watch this damn video.

Second, Let’s Talk About Reddit

It’s cuffing season. The days are getting shorter. The weather’s getting colder. People are getting horny and tired. Reddit has been full of insane relationship stuff this week.

1) “Guy Ive been seeing wants me to call him Senpai during sex and I cant stop laughing about it”

This post has sadly been deleted, but here’s a backup. According to the OP, he’s charming, funny, smart, and really nice. Plus, the sex is good. EXCEPT he’s a huge weeb and wants to be called “senpai” during sex. I’m gong to say that this is actually fine and good and normal. Moving on.

2) “Men in a long term relationship - do you sometimes wish you married a gamer?”

This one is a doozy. The post itself is kind of awful. “I find myself wishing that my wife was as passionate (or even half) as myself when it comes to games,” the OP writes. “As a working adult, with kids, my gaming time has been significantly reduced, but I still enjoy it when I have spare time.” And then as the responses came in, the OP did a bunch of edits getting all defensive about it. But but but the responses are actually great. Most of them are from people basically saying some variation of “it’s cool and healthy to have different hobbies than your spouse, bud.”

3) “My boyfriend (28M) has decided to learn my (23F) native language. He has decided he is better than me and wants me to relearn it and refuses to drop it. Please help.”

This one, man. This one is absolutely fucking cursed. This one is a NIGHTMARE. It has also been sadly deleted. But you can read a backup here. The TL;DR is that a woman’s boyfriend started learning her native language, got sorta ok at speaking it conversationally, and is now correctly her and the rest of her family about, not only, how to speak it, but also how to cook their traditional food. It is an especially awful nightmare because of this interaction in the comments. Brace yourselves, guys.

Reader, I screamed.

Speaking Of Weebs, Watch This To Never Feel Horny Again

This was sent to me by my friend Rachael. It’s bad. Real bad. If you click through, it’s a lot of people joking-but-haha-no-seriously-not-joking asking for the source. Fun Fact: That’s the same actor currently playing James in Pokémon. The clip is from a show called The Duchess of Busty Mounds. You’re welcome.

Alright, Check Out This Cool Pic

I found it on Tumblr. I reverse image searched it and couldn’t find it anywhere else online. It was posted without any context. So I don’t have much more to tell you about it. Alright, moving on.

Now, Let’s Talk About This Furry Steam Group

Twitter user @MarlonVids posted screenshots earlier this week of the time they infiltrated a Steam group called “Dragon fuckers league,” got admin powers, and changed it into an anime group. Apparently it did not go over well. Some choice comments:

  • “why in the fuck did you destory that groupe it was so good then you come with that weeaboo shit”

  • “a dragon is a dragon a little anime girl with a dragon tail aint no dragon”

  • “a girl that turn into a dragon is not a fucking dragon”

  • “sry i gotta leave this group now :( ”

Two points here for context:

  • The anime girl they replaced the logo with is canonically a dragon. She’s a character from a show called Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid.

  • I wouldn’t technically call these people furries. If you’re into dragons and lizards and dinosaurs, you’re a “scalie”.

Almost Done, Here’s A Curious Facebook Ad

I saw this screenshot of a very interesting ad from Audible going around. I wanted to make sure it was real, so I did some digging. The screenshot was posted to Tumblr by user unclefather earlier this week. According to Facebook’s ad library, however, Audible hasn’t used Tentacle Imsemination in one of their ads for the last year and a half. The ad library only goes back to May 2018. (Audible does advertise Jordan Peterson’s books a lot, though.) But there is an Audible page for Tentacle Insemination! Here’s the synopsis:

Anna wants to get pregnant, but those damnable little tests always come up negative. She was thirty-one. At this rate she’d never have a child. Then Andrea calls. Andrea knows of a way her friend can live out her dream. Anna is quickly on board. But, there’s a catch. It involves a top secret experiment and an alien with tons of tentacles. Curious, Anna goes along. The alien, nicknamed Dan, is intelligent, kind and sophisticated. He also looks like a mushroom squid. Anna immediately takes to Dan’s personality, but can she overcome his strange appearance? Can she release herself from the chains of prejudice, fall gently into his tender, tentacled embrace, experience true love, and become a mother like she’s dreamed of?

The book has pretty good ratings. It’s currently at 3.6/5. No written reviews sadly. Alara Branwen seems to be a pretty busy author. Here are a few of her other titles:

  • The Centaur Guide

  • Training the Dragon

  • Ravished by the Dragon

  • The Dragon's Virgin Sacrifice

  • Dino Park After Dark

  • Ravished by the Triceratops

Dang, once those scalies get their Steam community back from that weeb, Branwen should totally join!

OK OK, Here’s A Good Brand Tweet

Weird that they deleted this.

Finally, One Last Jeremy Renner App Screenshot

Last week, we said goodbye to the Jeremy Renner app. I wanted to throw in one more screenshot before it joins Vine and caffeinated Four Loko in Millennial Valhalla.

Goodnight sweet prince. Only shooting stars break the mold.

P.S. here’s that really good TikTok.


***All typos in this letter are on purpose actually***