First, The Hog Dot Waffles
I’ve gone back and forth about this for a few days and I’ve decided that actually this is dope and I would eat it. It’s egg, cheese, and hot dogs. I don’t understand the problem. The paperclip part is weird, sure. And this recipe was most likely generated by some weird algorithm, but what if algorithmic food recipes are good?
Here’s A Good Classic 4chan Post
The Stan Armies Are Feeling The Bern
Speaking of Bernie Sanders…
“Bernie Sanders Mindless Self Indulgence Bitches Edit”
I came across this last month and I don’t think it’s left my thoughts since. To have a piece of internet content so aesthetically rooted in both 2004 and 2020 at the same time is really screwing with my head. Two important things from the comment section you should know about.
One, most of the comments are basically just this:
Two, these two comments back to back made me feel so old I almost turned to dust:
I Bet You Thought Foot Discourse Was Over, Didn’t You?
This was sent to me by one of my editors and he was extremely proud that he had found something really gross. I won’t name or link to him because he’s a professional person.
…Speaking Of Feet, Some Copypasta
It’s South 😈CarHOElina💁♀️ primary day!! And it’s 🤾♀️Leap Day🤾♀️!! You know what that means! The polls are 😏OPEN😉 and ready for your 😩🍆ROCK HARD🍆😩 vote! So leap on some polls😝! And make sure you 😜FILL🤤 in every 🍑HOLE😏 on your ballot and 💦😩STICK IT IN😩💦 the slot when you’re done! Remember! This primary is crucial for some of the 🍆canDICKdates!🍆 And it’s only 3 days until Super 👀TOESday👣! Will your 🍆canDICKdate🍆 🍑RIDE🍑 this momentum into a big win next week? Or will they experience some 😳👀ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION👀😳? Send this to 🔟 of your baddest 😈PalmettHOE😋 State thotties! If you get 5️⃣ back your 🍆canDICKdate🍆 will have a 💦😩CUMback💦😩 moment! If you get 🔟 then they’ll 🔝 the entire field👀😜😉!
Oh, actually, here’s one more good piece of copypasta, this comes from Jamie.
HAPPY 🎊🎁SOCIAL 🎂MEDIA🍫 🎉 MARKERTING 🎟 WORLD 🌍 WEEK 📅 SLUTS! 😛 MAY ALL 🙌🏼 OUR 💫WISHES✨ ⭐️🌟COME TRUE ON THIS ☀👌🏼👌🏼️BEAUTIFUL 😍 WEEK. I WANT TO 👏🏼👏🏼THANK 👍🏼 OUR FATHER 💁🏻♂️GARY VEE ✔️FOR THE ENGAGEMENT📲📲 TIPS 🍆☝🏻💦 AND 🛑 DON’T 4️⃣GET TO CREEP 🕵🏼🕵🏼 ON YOUR FELLOW MANAGERS PROFILES ‼️‼️ BE4️⃣ YOU GO GET YOURSELF 👇🏼👊🏼SOME 😺 🐈OR MAYBE SOME 🍆. DO WHATEVER 👄💁🏽YOUR ❤️ NEEDS 💦TO GET THAT ENGAGEMENT 👍📲! LOVE 💓YOU 💕BITCH! 🐩🐕MAY 🌼🌷🌹YOUR HAPPINESS😁😄 NEVER 🔚❕❗️❕❗️
Check Out This Cool Meme
This was sent to me by Twitter user @itsmeravioli. Thanks! I hate it.
Congrats To Twitter User @brendohare For Defeating Mike Bloomberg
A few weeks ago, @brendohare tweeted this at Mike Bloomberg:
And then tweeted this this week:
Look, I’m not going to say that Mike Bloomberg was so intimated by this guy in his karate outfit that he dropped out of the Democratic Primary. But at the same time, I’m not going to rule it out.
Perfume TikTok Is The Best TikTok
This guy goes by Jeremy Fragrance and he’s actually a multiplatform scent influencer, which is, of course, a thing. Here’s his Instagram and YouTube. What I find most exciting about this though is that insane and intense specialists going viral for bizarre niche knowledge is one of the first major milestones for a platform becoming A Thing. The fact this dude is building an audience on TikTok means the platform is evolving into a legitimate place to share meatier and more complicated kinds of video and not just distribution system for AI-generated brand-safe dance challenges.
Based on what we know about how social media works, TikTok will either continue to become more and more unique and interesting until it becomes completely unmonetizable and shuts down or it reverts back into a tightly-controlled facade of itself that aggressively hoovers up teenagers’ data so that it can better serve its latest Chipotle ad campaign or whatever.
Check Out These Cool Dream Pants
P.S. here’s a cute story about an important pic.
***Any typos you notice in this email are on purpose actually***