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Let's Talk About The Guy On Mastodon Eating Gorilla Food

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Let's Talk About The Guy On Mastodon Eating Gorilla Food

Read to the end for an interesting comic

Ryan Broderick
Jan 17, 2020
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Let's Talk About The Guy On Mastodon Eating Gorilla Food

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First, Let’s Talk About Pellets Guy

I, admittedly, have not been on Mastodon in a while. If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s a federated social network. All I really know about it is that it’s almost impossibly complicated to use and in 2017 it became a big place for Japanese pedophiles. Apparently, there’s a guy on Mastodon right now though who’s been making a big stir. Meet Pellets Guy.

Twitter avatar for @HTHRFLWRS
Heather ⬢ Flowers @HTHRFLWRS
in case you're wondering what's going on in mastodon, the current discourse is over a figure known as Pellets Guy, who ordered a bag of gorilla food pellets and has been eating them in lieu of human food ever since
6:58 PM ∙ Jan 8, 2020
2,340Likes474Retweets

This is like a classic early social network phenomenon. I feel like an online community really doesn’t come into its own until a guy (it’s almost always a guy) uses that online community to document some kind of deranged project. Like the Pony Cum Jar or the Tumblr human pet guy. Some more interesting details about Pellets Guy:

Twitter avatar for @starseeker8749
Starseeker 🛡️ @starseeker8749
@HTHRFLWRS @ZacRulzOK Also, some important bits of context for those not on the Fediverse: -Pellets Guy himself isn't on masto (that we know of), we're hearing about him secondhand, which makes it even more amazing -it's more just discussion than "discourse", since the latter (at least on Twitter) /
9:04 PM ∙ Jan 9, 2020

And some more details for good measure:

Twitter avatar for @realmaxkeeble
Keeble T. Bird (Gallinula interretialis) 🔜 ANE @realmaxkeeble
pellets guy [who to our knowledge is not on masto] has given my cohost [his coworker] a dog bowl to eat out of that says "eat up hungy boi" on the inside he also made red bull that's as thick as porridge there are pictures of all of these on mastodon
6:21 PM ∙ Jan 9, 2020
1Like1Retweet

That last tweet says there are pictures out there, but I’m not good enough at math to figure out how to find them on Mastodon or whatever.

Check Out This Good Furry Video

Twitter avatar for @nascissism
𝕹𝖆𝖘 / ناصر 🇨🇦 @nascissism
wgdysvdudbejxbshsisnsbsuxbdhxixbs
Image
2:24 AM ∙ Jan 12, 2020
65,968Likes17,657Retweets

A few weeks ago we talked about the anarcho crustpunk furry that wanted to free Bobby Shmurda and loved to Juul. This appears to be part of the same video series? This one is also good. Enjoy! I really like the part at the end where where it cuts off as he says, “Antifa super soldier.” I recently put together a Powerpoint presentation that explains why furries are actually naturally aligned with the modern antifascist movement. DM me if you want to see it!

It Seems Like These Videos Are All Coming From This Channel

This channel is called All Gas No Brakes and I’m not totally convinced yet that it’s not a far-right thing? But from what I can tell, it’s not? But with all YouTube channels that feature white men in their 20s, I’m still slightly nervous that the other shoe is gonna drop and they’re going to release a video about race science or phrenology or something. So for now I will say I like what I’ve seen. Shoot me an email if I’m totally off-base here and these dudes are actually running some kind of secret neo-reactionary Telegram channel or something.

An Extremely Gross Thing

An alarming amount of Garbage Day readers have been complaining that this newsletter isn’t as gross as it used to. The reason why is simple. I’m trying to sell the fuck out. Anyways, I have some exceptionally gross. My friend Katie sent this to me and it’s really really bad. I’m not going to embed it, screenshot it, or even link directly to it. I don’t even really want to describe but it involves snails. Anyways, click here to see it and may god have mercy on your soul.

A Doomer Update

It’s almost kind of sweet to see a new generation of 4chan users have a collective breakdown over one of their memes going somewhat mainstream. The fact this particular genre of meme is basically just Rage Comics all over again is even funnier.

Related:

Twitter avatar for @writhing_south
the good display name haver @writhing_south
I'm not fully sure of what this format is for but I don't really care
Image
4:19 AM ∙ Jan 16, 2020
18,270Likes1,761Retweets

Speaking Of The Democratic Primary…

Twitter avatar for @jackcalifano
Jack Califano @jackcalifano
You heard the man.
Image
4:23 AM ∙ Jan 9, 2020
20,324Likes4,012Retweets
Twitter avatar for @IlhanMN
Ilhan Omar @IlhanMN
Another reason I’m proud to support @BernieSanders 😜Y
Twitter avatar for @jackcalifano
Jack Califano @jackcalifano
You heard the man. https://t.co/MBZlOLxVas
12:25 AM ∙ Jan 10, 2020
71,196Likes10,832Retweets

This, of course, is in direct opposition to Trump’s 2020 campaign of “You must pilot the EVA 01, Baron.”

Here’s A Really Good Tumblr Ad

I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know how accurate this is, but apparently his thing become-s sooo big!!! So that’s pretty cool.

There’s Been A Lot Of Foot Discourse This Week

If you haven’t read my buddy Hussein’s piece in Mel Magazine about trying to beat foot fetishists with copyright law, you absolutely should read it. I make a cameo!

Going to court is generally a last resort. That was certainly the case for BuzzFeed tech reporter Ryan Broderick. Last year, he was forced to block the Instagram account “feety mcfeetface” after finding out that it had co-opted a picture of him standing on a scale, cropping the photo to emphasize the top of his feet in the process. “It was kind of funny, but largely harmless. I was even flattered at first because the other dudes on the account were pretty big hunks,” Broderick recalls.


But as the account took more photos from his Instagram feed, Broderick became less and less comfortable — especially when the account started commenting on his pictures and tagging him in feet pics. “I had this foot account thirsting after me in a place where my friends and family could see it. It escalated to a point where I had to shut it down and block him.”

Here’s a good tweet on the topic I’ve really been thinking about a lot lately.

Twitter avatar for @urvillageidiot
jim, @urvillageidiot
you wake up. you’re still a lizard sunning on a red rock. it was all a dream. the concept of selling “feet pics” to pay back “student loans” is already losing its meaning as you open and lick your own eyeballs to moisten them. time to eat a bug.
6:59 PM ∙ Jan 14, 2020
319,435Likes66,723Retweets

I Found This K-Pop Meme And I Don’t Know What To Do With It

According to Google, Yoongi is better known by his stage names Suga and Agust D. He is a South Korean rapper, songwriter, and record producer. Cool.

I Really Like This Instagram Cat

sampycat
My year 2019 looked like this. Now I want to wish you all happy new year 2020!
December 31, 2019

His name is Sämpy and he’s from Finland.

Apparently, Kool-Aid pickles Are A thing?

People in this Reddit thread are saying they’re common in parts of the Midwest? Well I still don’t like them!!!

What Do You Guys Think About This Dude’s Lady Drawer?

Twitter avatar for @DaddyAllDay
BassFather @DaddyAllDay
I feel like every guy needs a “lady drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests.
Image
10:50 PM ∙ Jan 11, 2020
22,417Likes3,001Retweets

That’s definitely a dildo under the wipes there right? Anyways, this rules. Fellas, make sure your queen has a proper castle. Next time you have a woman over your apartment, bring her into your bedroom and show her your weird drawer full of tampons and scrunchies.

And ladies, don’t forget men have needs too.

Twitter avatar for @warmfourloko
phil @warmfourloko
I feel like every girl needs a “fella drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests.
Image
11:45 PM ∙ Jan 14, 2020
179,036Likes24,341Retweets

P.S. here’s an interesting comic.


***Any typos you find in this email are on purpose actually***

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Let's Talk About The Guy On Mastodon Eating Gorilla Food

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