Obama chuckled. "You mean the Chaos Emeralds?"

Read to the end for a cool house with a prison in the basement you can buy for $350,000

First, A Tweet

Hmm. OK, moving on.

A Two-Hour Video Of A Guy Staring Off Into Space Has Been Viewed 3.1 Million Times

The title of this video translates to “2 HOURS of nothing” and, uh, yep! That’s exactly what it is. News outlet Malay Mail has a bit more context on what exactly the deal is here. The guy in the video is a 21 year old from Malaysia named Muhammad Didit. The video was apparently just supposed to be a joke and he did not expect it to end up becoming his most popular video. “I ate first, went to the bathroom, and gave [filming] a try,” he said. “It turned out well so I decided to make it two hours long.”

Makes sense to me! Didit’s channel is typically just him doing weird food mashups. It seems like the virality on this video was a weird Facebook quirk. According to CrowdTangle, it’s been shared like 3,000 times on the platform since it was first uploaded in July. I was curious if the top comments on the video could give us any clue as to why this video has been so popular, but they weren’t very helpful.

For anyone curious, the first Russian comment (Google) translates to:

Thousands will ask: "YouTube, what's there?"

Millions will answer: "Watch this"

And the second (Google) translates to:

Classmates in quarantine: watching movies, walking, getting ready for school

Me: I watch the video of a person staring at the camera for 2 hours

An Extremely Interesting Thread From r/LegalAdvice

Alright, let’s see what the internet’s greatest legal minds have got to say about this one. Here’s a link to the post. The original poster explains their predicament thusly:

Whether it’s real or not in your opinion, please put it aside. I have a fairly successful YouTube channel that revolves around ghost box sessions. I contact deceased celebrities and random spirits. When contacting celebrities, people have threatened to sue me before claiming to be family members of those individuals I am contacting. If I try to contact a specific spirit and that person’s family is offended by it, could they sue me for attempting to make contact with this individuals spirit?

I really like the phrase “fairly successful YouTube channel that revolves around ghost box sessions.” Also, apparently a “ghost box” is some kind of broken radio you can use to talk to dead people.

Sadly, the comments have been locked, but the general consensus is: Anyone can technically sue anyone and if you are going to try and contact the spirit of a dead person via YouTube, their family could probably sue you over likeness rights. Good to know!

Spencer’s Gifts Was Founded In 1947

lol alright, so this isn’t really an “internet thing” but I read this the other day (on the internet) and it blew my mind. Spencer’s Gifts — the store at the mall that sells wrestling t-shirts, bongs, dildos, and raver gas masks — is 73 years old???

I discovered this hilarious fact thanks to Tumblr user weaver-z’s recent post about how Hot Topic was founded in 1988. Wow TIL I’m younger than Hot Topic, apparently.

Spencer’s has a paragraph on their website that describes their early years and it is hilarious to read in 2020:

Starting out as a mail order company in 1947, Spencer’s opened its first retail store in 1963 at New Jersey’s Cherry Hill Mall. From the outset, Spencer's quickly became an oasis within the mall environment offering our guests an entertaining experience both through its merchandising and product mix, and grew to a national chain by the mid-70’s. In 2003, under new management, Spencer's lifted the bar higher and set out to reinvent itself. Remaining true to its roots, the reinvention process remained focused on Spencer's strong history and commitment to irreverence, humor and fun.

Apparently that 2003 “reinvention” meant pivoting to focus on Rick & Morty Funko Pops and this fleece blanket of panda smoking a blunt.

This Kid Rules

This video was discovered by a South African furry named SUDO the Protogen who shared it on Twitter this week, where it was retweeted over 20,000 times. I went over to see if this kid has made any new videos and it seems like things are getting about as weird as you’d expect.

Here’s A Good Parasite Review

Head over to this previous Garbage Day issue for another good Parasite review.

It’s The Three-Year Anniversary Of “Then Perish”

If you’ve never heard of the “Then Perish” meme, I’m going to do my best to explain what it is and why it’s funny, but it’s one of those pieces of internet content that is so visual and intertextual that it’s extremely difficult to explain. In 2017, a Tumblr user named grimwhores published a weird roleplay where an anime girl is put in a cave that’s filling with water and former President Obama lets her drown. The roleplay ends with this exchange:

That last part of the image with Obama’s eyes has become weird visual shorthand for the phrase “then perish.” For instance…

There’s also a really good Tumblr audio post of the text exchange floating around somewhere, but I can’t find it. Maybe an intrepid Garbage Day reader can find it for me. The fact this meme happened in 2017 actually feels wrong to me. It feels very much like it belongs to that weird moment in 2013 when everyone started imaging Obama as an anime character:

Although, according to Kotaku, the Obama anime thing was still going strong in 2015. Either way, 2017 still feels way too late to me. Oh well, happy birthday to “Then Perish”! It’s a completely meaningless piece of internet content that is now taking up space in a part of my brain where I should be storing information I could use to build a real personality.

And Here’s A Cool Groundhog To Follow On Instagram

I came across this little guy in Clara Plarkes’ Daily Respite newsletter, which I highly recommend. If you like the offbeat nice parts of Garbage Day, Plarkes’ newsletter is like that with none of the cursed stuff.

Finally, A Country Cover Of Blink-182’s “I Miss You”

I meant to put this in the newsletter weeks ago, but I kept not having room for it. I’ve featured videos from Alex Melton before. I think his stuff is really well done. Last year, he did a bunch of videos covering Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin” in style of different pop punk bands. This Blink country cover is genuinely fantastic. Also, speaking of Blink-182, this tweet from Mark Hoppus been bothering for days.

P.S. here’s a cool house with a prison in the basement you can buy for $350,000.

***All typos in this email are on purpose actually***