Ryan The Vampire Hedgehog

Read to the end for a good post of shitty real estate photos

OK, Here’s A Big Giant Correction And Apology

So I try very hard to make sure I credit where I find stuff and, even though this newsletter is a fun thing, I do try to make sure I know where things originate. So I want to apologize to Bec who was actually the person who created all those amazing past lives memes I shared last week. I found them secondhand and I absolutely didn’t mean to not credit her. You can check out her full post here.

Right, Let’s Play The Name Game

My friend Taylor resurfaced the Urban Dictionary name game today and everyone should take a sec to go play it. It’s very simple, just search your name on UD and see what the first entry says. For instance:

Heh, hell yeah. I do have a bubble butt.

If you’re looking for another internet name game, we used to play the Sonic name game at BuzzFeed back in the day. Same idea, but you google “[your name] the hedgehog” and share the first and/or best result. For instance:

This is Ryan The Vampire Hedgehog, who was created by fanpop user blazecat713. Wow! You can totally see how great my bubble butt looks.

Alright, Let’s Briefly Discuss The Mentos Hole Video

Also, yes, I will be referring to it as the Mentos Hole Video because 1) it’s funny and 2) it doesn’t spoil the incredibly important ending. That said… [SPOILER ALERT] the best theory I’ve heard for why this works is that the egg attracts the fish and the mentos sucks all the oxygen out of the water. I am not fisherman or a scientist, so I have no idea if that’s true or not.

Next Up, A Good Twitter Thread

Strap In, We’re Diving Into The Toby Fox Pokémon Mpreg Fetish Song

If you weren’t aware, Toby Fox, the creator of Undertale, contributed music to Pokémon Sword and Shield. Great! Cool! It’s a pretty good song. You can check it out here:

Fun right? If you read Garbage Day, you already know that I love Pokémon and I’ve tried playing Undertale, but I’ll be honest, I’m a fake gamer and couldn’t finish it. Anyways, here’s the issue with all of this. Fox’s Pokémon song is actually incredibly similar to a track Fox wrote years ago for a Homestuck rock opera called “The Baby Is You,” in which one character gives birth to another character. Check out the similarities:

As fans slowly put two and two together this month, a rumor was started that Fox was banned at the time for posting his Mpreg Homestuck rock opera on the MS Paint Adventures forum, but that actually isn’t true. Fox ended up actually working on music for Homestuck afterwards.

I’m sure for casual readers there’s a lot to explain here, but I have a pretty strict personal and professional rule that I will not, under any circumstances, meaningfully engage with Homestuck in anyway.

The TL;DR is the guy who created Undertale created an Mpreg rock opera and then reused one of the songs for the Pokémon soundtrack.

Speaking Of Pokémon, Here’s An Incredibly Detailed Recipe For Cooking Mr. Mime

I recently came across a question asked by Tumblr user named hyrellion about how to cook a Mr. Mime. Hyrellion writes:

My boyfriend won’t stop talking to me about whether or not I would eat Pokémon steaks. We think maybe Mr. Mime steaks would have white meat and ooze a purple liquid. I feel like you’re the only one qualified to tell us more

The question to posed to Tumblr user iguanamouth, who responded with a really horrifyingly-well-thought out response:

listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning

luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps

Oh, and yes, there are diagrams:

Moving On, Here’s A Good Meme

Oh, One More Sonic Thing

I love cinema.

Before You Go, A Thing To Plug

I’m doing an IRL internet thing! It’s next Friday and there will be lots of other cool people too. If you’re in or around NYC, you should totally come out for it. If you do come, though, I want to make it clear that under absolutely no circumstances are you to look me in the eye or speak to me.

Finally, Here’s A Good Reddit Thing

P.S. here’s that good post of shitty real estate photos.


***All typos in this letter are on purpose actually***