This Chicken Recipe Technically Isn't Porn...
Read to the end for a cool Spongebob thing
First Up, An Absolutely Disgusting Chicken Recipe
Now, it should be apparent to anyone who regularly reads this newsletter why this video is absolutely No Good. I refuse to believe this video wasn’t done like this on purpose. But just in case any of you have any doubts about what is definitely happening in this video, here are some comments:
“14 year old boys everywhere all of a sudden have an interest in cooking.”
“Saw the thumbnail and came straight for the comments”
“I lasted 47 seconds.. now I feel I need to smoke a cigarette 🚬”
“There was something so creepy about this video 😂 stop feeling up the chicken!”
“0:11 - I really need to call my wife.”
So congrats. You’re all horny for chicken now.
Second, Let’s Talk About Discord
I’ve been sorta convinced since last year that Discord has quietly become a second entirely separate internet run by teens. Based on my own reporting and some conversations I’ve had with Discord users (and the rooms I’m secretly hiding in), it seems like a large majority of Gen Z internet users have decided to create their own more private spaces. Sometimes these spaces are bad (lots of Nazis) and sometimes these spaces are good (that Creeper, Aw Man meme). I’m unsure what to make of this Big Shift in internet use, but a lot of what I’m seeing reminds me of when I spent my teens hanging out in relatively anonymous private communities like Luelinks or Something Awful, spaces where I could freely express myself and connect with other people in weird and interesting ways. Which I actually think is really important for young people. Anyways, here’s 1-800-WeFuckSuckToes.
Happy Birthday, “God I Wish That Were Me”
Every once in a while, I find myself at one of those weird “Everyone here is from the internet” parties that are thankfully not as common as they were in 2013 when self-respecting adults still thought it was acceptable to wear like a Nyan Cat T-shirt and call that a personality. At one of these parties, invariably, some dreadful person will try to break the ice by saying something like, “So what’s everyone’s favorite meme?”
This question is utter garbage because memes are ephemeral nonsense and trying to explain one OUT LOUD WITH YOUR MOUTH is like trying to describe a dream to someone. I also hate this question because this is my favorite meme:
So, at one of these Nyan Cat parties, if I were to say, “well, actually my favorite meme is the ‘god i wish that were me’ DeviantArt comment,” I would most likely be met with blank stares. Even worse though would be if someone asked me to explain it. If they did, I’d have to say, “well, it’s a comment that someone posted on a piece of lactation/adult baby/giantess fetish art in 2012.” This picture specifically:
Happy 7th birthday!
Now, A Gang Fight
Here’s a meme:
And here’s another meme:
I’ll keep you guys updated if there are any more developments.
Alright, A Cool Pokémon Thing
We’re getting super close to the release of the new Pokémon games and I’m hyped as hell. I found this really cool account that pulls back the curtain on what certain Pokémon originally looked like and how the family trees were meant to work. Here are a few of my favorites.
Dang, wikihow-illustrations, You Alright?
There’s a pretty cool tumblr called wikihow-illustrations that collects some of the weirder images from wikiHow. Because wikiHow is largely community-run and sort of makes an article out of anything you want them to, there ends up being a lot of weird stuff on there. For instance:
It’s a cool blog. The person behind the account rarely says much, though. Which is what made this recent post all the more surprising:
I guarantee you could not have ever predicted how that was going to end. Strangely, this actually makes wikihow-illustrations part of Tumblr’s fairly vibrant robot-fucking scene. So I guess that’s nice.
Before You Go, A Cool Tattoo
Dude, fuck yes. Oh man. Can you imagine? Like both Jokers? Hanging out. Oh fuck. Like what do you think they’d talk about? Haha imagine like smoking mad weed with the Jokers. That shit would be so cash. Like just chilling out with the Jokers smoking a fat blunt. Fuuuuck. They’d be like, so wild. Just like hanging out watching Joe Rogan videos with the Jokers. Bro. Holy fuck. So wild.
Finally, Art Clock Fred Babb
Apparently, this is a clock that someone was trying to sell on Nextdoor. Some observations:
There are no numbers.
It appears to be Salt and Pepper-themed?
The hour hand and the minute hand are on two different clocks, which makes reading hilariously difficult.
I actually did a little research and, from what I can tell, this is actually a piece by an artist named Fed Babb. I think? It could be that Babb is famous and I’ve just never heard of him. The only art form I respect is anime and this isn’t anime, bud. But he seems like a fairly obscure artist. From Babb’s website:
Fred remembers picking up a drawing pencil for the first time, and, instantly he heard a VOICE from above say "Put down that pencil and do your chores." It was, of course, his dad - but he prefers to think of it as his first almost religious experience.
Apparently, Babb passed away in 2006, but it seems like his family really loved him. “We miss him terribly, but his words and works will live forever in the hearts of those who have enjoyed them through the years. We thank you,” his website reads.
Fred’s artwork is pretty cool and feels extremely millennial. Check it out:
LOL actually I was late today, so here’s one more good tweet
P.S. here’s a cool Spongebob thing.
***All typos in this letter are on purpose actually***