Garbage Day

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Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?

Read to the end for a list you need to scroll to the very end of

Ryan Broderick
Oct 4, 2019
3
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Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?
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First Up, A Meme Origin Story

This might be fairly deep internet shit, but there’s a Mickey Mouse meme that I absolutely love. It’s one of those bizarre images that travels around the web, seemingly without a source and without a reason for even existing. Here’s what I’m talking about:

When I first saw it, I assumed it was text from like the Communist Manifesto or Nietzsche or something. It’s not! Adding to the image’s mystery, it appears to be 100% original. Here’s a funny Reddit thread of people trying to source the text. Whoever made this, wrote this. According to Know Your Meme, it dates back to Tumblr in 2015 (good year for Tumblr OC tbh). Until this week, however, I never actually knew where the image came from. Behold!

I had never seen this before and it’s blowing my mind. The biggest surprise? Mickey isn’t holding Donald’s shirt! He’s washing a dish. Second big surprise? This comic came from a Disney Magazine ad in a 1986 My Little Pony comic. It always comes back to ponies.

Speaking Of Deep Questions, A Tweet

Twitter avatar for @asiancrackbaby
tatianna @asiancrackbaby
I saw a Tik Tok of a guy saying “for as much as we use our phones, it’s weird that they aren’t in any of our dreams” and I can’t fucking stop thinking about it
1:25 AM ∙ Sep 27, 2019
222,455Likes49,848Retweets

Not sure if this is true for you, but it definitely is for me. I’ve dreamed of certain apps, but strangely never the device I’m accessing them on. I’d say the app that pops up in my dreams the most often is Slack, which I assume is like the adult millennial version of dreaming about missing classes in school.

Now, A Good Goose Vid

Twitter avatar for @dodo
The Dodo @dodo
This goose and his dad!!!
Image
11:00 PM ∙ Sep 30, 2019
30,281Likes9,863Retweets

Everyone’s crazy for geese right now! Largely that has to do with the release of Untitled Goose Game for Nintendo Switch. If you’re stuck on the first stage with the farmer, you can get him to put on the sun hat by pulling up a rose, forcing him to bend down and replant it. Once he’s bent down, you can steal his hat. When you do, he’ll go over and put on the sun hat.

Anyways, this video has really nothing to do with all that. But it’s got a goose in it and I like it. Listen to the sound of his feet on the floor of the Walmart! He’s so happy to be out shopping!

Twitter avatar for @HaroHaroGenki
Грех и Гортанобесие @HaroHaroGenki
Image
11:47 AM ∙ Sep 28, 2019
39,485Likes13,948Retweets

Alright, Let’s Talk About Frankie Muniz

Last month, Frankie Muniz tweeted that he wanted to be Lizzo’s purse. It’s extremely unclear what this meant. But honestly, shoot your shot, Malcolm.

Twitter avatar for @frankiemuniz
Frankie Muniz @frankiemuniz
Hey @lizzo, lemme be your accessory. I can be a purse... put a chain around me and I'll hold your stuff for you... just sayin.
3:19 PM ∙ Sep 25, 2019
151,544Likes22,469Retweets

So, you know, whatever. More people are horny on main actually. That’s fine. If this had been the end of it, we could have all moved on as a society. Except it wasn’t! Because someone on Instagram decided to DRAW it.

Twitter avatar for @frankiemuniz
Frankie Muniz @frankiemuniz
New profile pic of @lizzo and me. Credit to Strawberry_cherub on Instagram.
Image
5:42 PM ∙ Sep 27, 2019
82,600Likes12,711Retweets

In this artist’s rendition of the Frankie Muniz purse, Muniz is being walked around on a chain holding Lizzo’s purse. I think this is actually the best possible outcome here. When I first heard that someone had drawn this I was deeply worried that it was going to be a thing where Frankie Muniz was transforming into a purse that was still sentient and made of flesh and hair. idk that’s just where my mind went! Also, this is not an uncommon thing. For instance, here’s a video of a man turning into a diaper.

People had a lot of fun with this. Someone edited Muniz’s Wikipedia page.

But it does seem to have caused a bit of drama in the being horny community.

Twitter avatar for @cake_hoarder
𝖈𝖚𝖒 𝖒𝖆𝖓 @cake_hoarder
i don’t fucking think so
Twitter avatar for @barstoolsports
Barstool Sports @barstoolsports
Frankie Muniz Is Currently The Horniest Man On The Internet https://t.co/esZrnIbch3 https://t.co/a7L8AmYLzu
12:18 AM ∙ Sep 29, 2019
92,375Likes10,633Retweets

Finally, Another Horny Thing

I saw this floating around and decided to investigate. I had thought to myself, “oh wow, you know, that’s a pretty good looking couch, I wonder if people are actually having sex on it.” Turns out it is not a genuine post on a genuine community Facebook page, sadly. From what I can tell, Blackwood Community Buzzposting is a bunch of edgelords LARPing as a small town Facebook page. I’m not totally sure I understand the larger joke going on here, but it seems like they really don’t like roundabouts and women named Karen. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the people running it are probably pretty young.

P.S. here’s a list that you should absolutely scroll to the very end of…


***All typos in this letter are on purpose actually***

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